Okay everyone, I sincerely apologize for being so mother f-ing MIA. Life in the world of sex advice is extraordinarily busy. Wink wink.
So, first things first: new toy recommendations.
1. The Aneros.
So valued is my sex toy review advice that I can call up my editor and say, "Hey! I want [insert name of wildly expensive toy here]!" And I get it. But I decided to share the love and gifted my Aneros to a certain heterosexual couple I know for the experimentation part of the review.
The Aneros is intended to be used with no hands to create some special kind of mindblowing, non-ejaculatory orgasm. Whatever. It's a great introductory anal toy, since it's super-smooth plastic and not that big, and the handle is really cool.
My Special Product Tester Friends (whose names I cannot reveal) reported ease of use, security of placement during sex, and goosebumps upon orgasm. Straight people are so cute!
The price of this toy has just gone down to $48 (www.aneros.com) and I recommend it for those gals who want to introduce their guy to anal play without an intimidating strap-on right away. With practice, surely those out-of-this-world orgasms will happen.
2. The VixSkin "Tex" Dildo.
I have only these two words to say about Tex: Fuck yeah. The Neverending Search For the Perfect Dildo has officially ended. This thing is made out of "VixSkin," which actually, really, honestly feels like real skin. Which is good, because normal silicone dildos are so smooth that they don't pull at the skin in the way a real live cock would. Tex has solved that problem. And the size and shape are perfect: not too big, not bendy, and curved exactly where I want it to be.
These toys are pricey (I shelled out $97 for Tex) but worth it. I'm throwing all my other dildos away. http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/tex
More to come soon.