Friday, June 08, 2007

You Asked For It: What is up with titty fucking?

The first time I ever heard the phrase "tit fuck" it was the summer after eighth grade, when all of us popular girls were starting to hook up with boys for the first time. One night after a party two girls I knew went over to a garage apartment (!) with two boys and proceeded to hook up.

Of course, I got a phone call the very next morning about what had happened (since it was common knowledge I'd had a crush on one of the guys since about the first grade) and was stunned to hear that girl #1 had been "tit fucked" by boy I had a crush on. I didn't even really know what "tit fuck" meant, but when I tried to put two and two together I just thought, "Ew!"

Before going any further, let's define "tit fuck":

Tit fucking is when a girl presses her titties together and lets a cock (real or silicone) fuck the space between them in lieu of fucking some actual orifice. For some reason, guys seem to find it really hot. I imagine it's one of those weird Freudian mother/tits/yuck kind of things that only boys understand. If it's a bio-guy who's fucking your tits, they'll usually want to come on your neck/face. I think that's part of the appeal.

So when is it appropriate to tit fuck?

*When you have your period

*When you're too lazy to give a blow job

*When your guy just really really wants to try it (probably because he saw it in porn)

When is it not appropriate to tit fuck?

*Since we're all consenting adults here, it's never "not appropriate," but I think it's fucked up for a first-time sexual encounter, i.e., you take a guy home with you from a bar and don't want to sleep with him and he says, "Okay, but can I fuck your tits?" Ew. The pornoriffic-ness is only ameliorated when you're in a kinda serious relationship with the cock that's fucking your tits.

All that said, tit fucking is a great way to be lazy and get a guy off. Just be sure to use lube or oil (I think oil is better) and wash it all off afterwards lest you get a nasty breakout on your chest.

Love,
GTG

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