Sunday, June 22, 2008
When She Comes First came out, way back in 2004, S and I kept up with all the news coverage (and by "news" I mean reviews on websites read by guys like Ian Kerner: Salon and Slate) and were so revolted by Kerner that, even as fans, generally, of more oral sex for girls, we couldn't bring ourselves to actually read the fucking book.
But it seemed fitting to bring "Oral Sex Week" to a close by reviewing this book, 4 years after its publication.
She Comes First continues a decades-long legacy of irritating approaches to pleasuring women: it seeks to create a "formula" to crack the code of the female orgasm. The book suggests "routines," each with 6 (!) stages: First Kiss; Establishing Rhythm; Developing Tension; Escalation; Pre-Orgasm and, [finally] Orgasm.
I'm bored already.
Look--I've made my position on cunnilingus perfectly clear so, in theory, I should be all about Kerner's rules. But there's just something so yucky about him. While I discourage women who enjoy (or, say, require) oral sex from dating men who just don't like to give it, I'm not sure that a spiritual/literary exploration of the Magic Vagina is going to change anybody's mind.
Men who don't like performing oral sex would do well to limit themselves to those women who are just "too embarrassed" of their lady parts to invite anyone downtown. As for the rest of civilization, Kerner's advice is far too much. Women are not science experiments and the vagina is not a laboratory. Men who want to do well at cunnilingus would do well to use their eyes and ears to pay attention to their partner instead of reading this (or any other) silly book.
The best head comes from someone who gets off on giving it.