Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Mother F-ing Inauguration Day!

When Bill Clinton was inaugurated the first time I was a wee gal of twelve and my dad put aprons on my brother and me and took us down to the Mall to sell buttons. We sold them ("No War for Oil!" "Support the Troops: Bring them Home Now!") for $1 apiece and made oodles of cash.

I'm devastated not to be in Washington today but if I were, you can bet your bippy that I'd be selling these super sweet Obama condoms. Democrats like to fuck especially when there's some socially meaningful occasion, and this is just about the most important thing to have happened to the good people of the United States in, you know, decades.

I can only imagine what the scene will be like at Hawk 'n Dove, my favorite DC bar. Hopefully someone will be out on the Mall handing out rubbers; that's what I'll be doing here in Texas. But that's what I do every day.

This administration will be our best bet for getting rid of abstinence-only education, the fantasty that waiting until marriage is the "expected standard of human sexual behavior," the denial of health information and services to women that allow them to live healthy lives and control their fertility, and of course reduce barriers to abortion for women who must make that choice.

Make sure you tell Obama you want things to change.

Go forth and fuck appropriately (and fuckin' celebrate!),


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