Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My First Vibrator: What to Buy?


The Slimline.

Indulge me in relaying a first-time vibrator story: a certain someone, her freshman year at a small women's college, ventured to the Toy Box in Upland, California late at night and purchased a hard plastic Slimline vibrator. It was baby blue, took C batteries, and it died after less than a week.

The Slimline is an iconic sex toy; whenever a goofy movie character discovers a mom's vibe in a drawer, it's invariably a Slimline. But is it really the best choice for a first-time vibe?


Frankly, I don't think so. First of all, it's large--eight inches long and one and a half inches in diameter. For those of you who don't remember geometry, that's almost five inches in circumference--big.


Secondly, it's cheap--the motor is poorly made and either burns out or starts to rattle loudly (or both) very rapidly. If you're living in a dorm room, silence is key. Lastly, most women who purchase sex toys buy them for clitoral stimulation, not insertion, so the Slimline just isn't the right object. The hard plastic provides no friction, meaning it doesn't pull against the skin of the vulva, and the vibrations aren't localized in one place which is what you want on the clit.

So what should the vibrator first-timer buy? If you want focused sensation but need something cheap, try the Silver Bullet. At $15, it uses AA batteries (which are so much cheaper and easier to get than Cs) so when it breaks after a few months you won't be out a bunch of money and left with a stack of batteries you can't use for anything else.


If you want something insertable, I'd start out with something a little smaller than Slimline. The Velvet Jewel Vibe is plastic, which means it's not covered with any yucky phthalate-containing jelly substances, but it has the new-ish "velvet" finish, which means it will provide some friction where you need it. Plus it has rhinestones. And at four inches by .75 inches in circumference, this toy is a great place to start out with insertion play that won't leave you thinking, 'Wow, I should've bought lube.'




And just for fun, here's the trailer for my favorite movie where a goofball character discovers a mom's vibrator: Baseketball.

1 comment:

swu said...

I recommend this one if you're into clitoral stimulation and/or intimidated by starting with penetrating toys: http://www.amazon.com/Penthouse-Cyber-Flicker-Touch-Vibrator/dp/B000EHIX6W

I've bought it for a bunch of friends, and no one has complained yet.