The anal douche from Babeland
I'm seeing this guy who is really into anal, which I've really never done before. He's squeamish, though (kind of ironic) and wants me to, basically, give myself frequent enemas. I know that the colon is a pretty delicate ecosystem, and I'm concerned about ending up with IBS or something horrible like that. Is there something I can use that'll get the job done without damaging my intestines? Is it even reasonable for him to ask me to do this more than every couple weeks?Again, thanks so much. I've talked to a bunch of my friends about this and they really don't know what to tell me.
Is your boyfriend actually into anal or is he just butt-curious? Because most people, once they get over their initial foray or two into backdoor action they realize that anal play is not really that messy and enemas aren't necessary.
Tristan Taormino, the authoritative expert on anal sex for women, says that enemas aren't necessary for relatively clean anal sex. She says "a nice warm and soapy shower or bath and a bowel movement before anal sex gets [you] pretty clean."
A lot of anal sex newbies are nervous about what they might find down there but you can assuage your fears by incorporating anal play into masturbation a few times to give yourself a sense of what your rectum is like on an average day. That will give you some insight into how you feel about having something in your anus and also make you more able to check-in with your body when butt play is on the table with you and your partner. I'd also highly recommend using a butt plug for a while before acutally trying anal sex with your guy's penis--there is a world of difference between, say, one finger and a grown man's cock.
If you decide that you do want to do enemas (or if your boyfriend absolutely insists on it), here's Tristan's advice:
If you're having an enema in preparation for anal sex, you should do it at least 2-3 hours prior to the sex to give your body a chance to reabsorb water and recover. Contrary to my little story about the thirteen enemas, it's not a good idea to have enemas too frequently. They tend to stress out your rectum and too much of this evacuation can really throw your rectum, bowels and gastrointestinal tract off balance.At first, you probably also want to do an anal douche, not a real enema. An anal douche just rinses out the rectum whereas an enema actually goes up into the colon. Babeland sells a high quality anal douche for just $20 (see picture above). A real enema kit (which has a big rubber bag, tubing, and more) can be purchased at drugstore.com.
Another possibility is that your boyfriend is actually into enemas themselves, which is something you'll definitely want to explore further on Tristan's site. Don't start doing frequent, serious enemas without reading up.
Tristan's book The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women is a must and it has a whole chapter on enemas. I highly recommend buying it along with a good butt plug and some thick lube.
PS-You can read my classic article, "10 Steps to a Successful Anal Encounter," here.