Review: "The Price of Pleasure: Pornography, Sexuality and Relationships"

Tonight I attended the world premiere of "The Price of Pleasure: Pornography, Sexuality and Relationships" right here in Austin. I was invited by Bob Jensen, UT's resident feminist anti-porn scholar.

The film's title and narration promised an analysis of porn, sexuality, and relationships and it delivered on the first of the three. Obviously anti-porn, the film revealed the normally hidden class conflict of the porn wars by depicting articulate college students as the intelligently anti-porn interviewees and juxtaposed meaty, douchey guys standing in its favor. At least they interviewed Joanna Angel, one of my favorite porn stars who appears in Tristan Taormino's "House of Ass."

Relationships, or, more specifically, what effect (if any) porn has on them wasn't covered, either: I wish it had been. Sexuality wasn't dealt with much, except in that homosexuality and gay porn was noticeably absent.

When I encounter activists who would eliminate porn I [almost] ask aloud the question I'm always asking: "What about the fucking?" The hypothesis is that porn, because of its depiction of violence against women on film, heightens violence against women in real life. Ignoring, for a moment, the fact that no research has ever supported that claim, if violence does increase, doesn't sex go up with it?

If the goal is to eliminate violence against women by eliminating porn, what about the fucking? The judgment of the aggression and violence is clear, but not so on the sex that is portrayed. Should [educated, in the know academic types] eschew both violence and sex? Or at least, certain kinds of sex that the anti-porn crusaders find distasteful? The question of whether or not the sex that porn is portraying is okay when it doesn't appear on film isn't addressed by this debate.

Part of the instrument used by "porn content researchers" depicted in the film revealed the behaviors they deemed "violent and aggressive": spanking and gagging. First of all, spanking is Kink 101--a slap on the ass doth not a violent sex scene make. And gagging--have any of these researchers ever given anyone a blow job? Or eaten a popsicle? Sometimes you gag.

I know people--indeed, some of their questions have been answered right here on Go-To Girl, who enjoy, say, being slapped in the face during sex. Were their desires influenced by porn? Perhaps. But do they not have a right to engage in sex they find exciting, pleasurable, and consensual? Yes, they do.

I have encountered enough educated, sensitive, liberal types who secretly, guiltily long for sex that is aggressive, at times violent, and basically the antithesis of the feminist, peacelove ideology they were raised with.

Sex guilt is bad, no matter whether the source is conservative religion or liberal parenting.

PS--Not to mention that there is a profit motive behind porn control--the Promise Keepers offer filtered internet and an "internet accountability" service for $7.99 a month that lets you have the report of what you've been doing online sent to your wife, kids, or pastor. What better way to get men to sign up for your service than by convincing them that porn is bad and that they're helpless against its powers? I wonder what the Christian Spanking people think of it...

Bush Will Implement Anti-Abortion Regulation

Remember a few weeks ago when the Bush Administration tried to redefine contraception as abortion? Well, language in the policy allowed employees with moral objections to refuse to provide services--including birth control--that may interfere with 'human life.'

Well, they dropped the birth control language but the policy is a go. The Washington Post reports today that employees who object to the provision of abortion will now be officially protected by federal law. Why doctors, nurses, medical assistants, phlebotomists, or other clinic employees who object to abortion would work in an abortion clinic remain to be seen. But now we can all exhale since they will be 'protected' by the law lest they object to doing their jobs.

Here's my favorite part:

[Employees would also be protected if they objected to] referrals, training, and other arrangements for offending procedures. For example, an operating room nurse would assist in the performance of surgical procedures; an employee whose task it is to clean the instruments used in a particular procedure would be considered to assist in the performance of the particular procedure.

Seriously? Mike Leavitt, Secretary of Health and Human Services, was quoted as saying:

[The regulation] focuses on abortion and focuses on physicians' conscience in relation to that.

So, let me get this straight. A federally funded clinic must allow staff the right to object to performing an abortion itself; the right to refuse to clean or prepare instruments to be used for an abortion; the right to refuse to train other staff in how to perform an abortion or related procedures; and the right to refuse to refer a patient to a facility where she can get an abortion.

Mike Leavitt must not be a doctor, because physicians only perform 10% of those tasks.

David Stevens, Chief Executive Officer of the nutso Christian Medical and Dental Association said:

We think it's badly needed. Our members are facing discrimination every day, and as we get into human cloning and all sorts of possibilities, it's going to become even more important.

If you have a strong stomach, take a look at the website for the CMDA. I've always had great dentists but I'm not sure if they would describe their work as "glorifying God." This part wasn't in the Post article, but this quote comes from the CMDA's own press release on the HHS policy:

If current trends of coercion are allowed to continue, patients will not be able to find physicians who share their life-affirming values.

So the CMDA is concerned for patients who, without interference by the federal government in the practice of medicine, will not be able to find physicians who share their 'life-affirming values' to...perform an abortion for them? What the fuck are they talking about?

Here's "first year medical student" Trevor Kitchens:

I am currently very interested in OB/GYN, but I am afraid of the relationship between this field and abortion. My concern is that I will start a residence and would subsequently be required at some point to give a patient the option of abortion, which I would refuse. My fear is that taking this stand would cost me my residence position.

Yes, Trevor, you're right. Try pediatrics. Or dentistry.

The Times on the HPV Vaccine, Round 2

Today's article in the Times addresses the doubts some researchers have about the HPV vaccine's widespread use in the developed world. Read all about it.

The Times On Merck's Aggressive HPV Scare Tactics

We here at Go-To Girl have been critics of the HPV vaccine since 2006, and today the New York Times featured a long article about the fast-track approval of Gardasil to prevent a disease that, frankly, isn't a big deal in the United States. The Times has done really thoughtful analysis about the hyper-aggressive "educational" (read: marketing) campaign Merck has done to create a total panic about a disease that barely kills anyone and for which a cheap, effective, and universally available screening tool (the Pap smear) already exists.

Below are highlights from the article; you can read my other pieces about HPV here.

Dr. Lippman at McGill [University in Canada]. “Some of our provinces are running out of money to provide primary care. I’m not against vaccines, but in Canada and the U.S., women are not dying in the streets of cervical cancer.”

Remember the flu vaccine shortage in 2005? That happened because the flu vaccine is so unprofitable that no manufacturer could be bothered to make it. Not so with the $130-a-shot HPV vaccine.

Vaccines were traditionally the orphans of the pharmaceutical world because they were cheap and not particularly profitable. But the two for cervical cancer are the latest in a wave of high-priced vaccines that have come to market since 2001, opening a lucrative new field.

And right here in Austin...

In Texas, Merck hired Gov. Rick Perry’s former chief of staff as a lobbyist, and contributed $6,000 to the governor and $38,000 to other legislators. Last February, Mr. Perry ordered that all schoolgirls be inoculated with Gardasil, a pronouncement that was overturned by the Texas Legislature, 181 to 3, a few months after the financial conflicts were revealed.

Women receiving the vaccine will need to shell out more money for a booster? What a shock. This is what happens when a for-profit company ventures into public health territory.

Dr. Harper said that in the data from Merck’s clinical trials, which she helped conduct, the vaccine was no longer protective after just three years in some girls. “The immunity of Gardasil will not last — that is dangerous to assume,” she said.

The nitty-gritty of why this vaccine makes no sense in the United States:

Cervical cancer is the second-leading cause of cancer death in women, with 500,000 new cases worldwide each year. But more than 90 percent of them are in developing countries, according to the World Health Organization; 274,000 women died of this cancer in 2006, nearly 95 percent in developing countries. Where there are Pap smear programs, few women die of cervical cancer. In the United States, it is responsible for 12,000 new cases a year and 3,600 deaths, most in women who did not get Pap smears, said Laurie Markowitz, head of the HPV working group at the C.D.C. (emphasis added)

And on the possibility of a whole new boondoggle--giving the vaccine to boys:

Said Dr. Raffle, the British cervical cancer specialist: “Oh, dear. If we give it to boys, then all pretense of scientific worth and cost analysis goes out the window.”

Just for clarification, boys don't have a cervix.

RIP Issac Hayes: Sex Music has Lost its Patriarch

He's not R. Kelly, and his fuck-song language seems subtle nowadays, but Issac Hayes' music was, in fact, Sex Music in the grand tradition. Many of the songs had a decidedly "love" oriented tone, but fucking is the subtext in almost all of them. Each track has a long (in some cases, 3 minutes or so), scratchy guitar intro that alternately makes you want to dance or, you know, lay down.

Take, for instance, "(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right," an ode from a married man to his (much younger) lover.

"Am I wrong to hunger for your gentle touch? ... Are you wrong to give your love to a married man?"

And then there's "Walk On By," the longest, most gut-wrenching breakup song of all time. It's 12 minutes of erotic, sexy, "Make believe you don't see my tears." Never has a man sounded so unbelievably sexy talking about crying uncontrollably.

Lastly (at least, in my iTunes library) is "Shaft,"about the "Black Private Dick who's a sex machine to all the chicks."

Let's not forget Hayes' contributions as Chef from South Park, wherein he mocked his own genre. "Chocolate Salty Balls" comes to mind first, but South Park wouldn't have had any sexiness at all if not for Chef.

I'll be listening to "Walk On By" all day.

The Pill Alters Women's Mate-Selection

From a new article in the Proceedings of the Royal Society: Biological Sciences, researchers found that women taking birth control pills preferred men with a "genetically similar scent." (MSNBC)

The researchers suggest that, because birth control hormones mimic pregnancy, that the brains of women who take them are put into a non-mate-seeking state and so don't choose men who smell "different."

I don't really know what this all means, but it's another reason in the litany of reasons not to take birth control hormones.

Let's review the side effects:

Depression
Moodiness
Weight gain
Loss of libido
And now impaired mate selection?

Enough already.

"Cosmo" to focus on women's pleasure? That's crazy talk!

'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man

The Onion has done it again.

Your Ideal Sex Workshop?

Dear Readers, I need your help. If, hypothetically speaking, Go-To Girl were to offer you a set of workshops for men and women about pleasing their partners/having good sex/being good in bed/etc., what kinds of topics would you want to be covered in said workshop? I'm taking any and all suggestions.

Thanks in advance.

GTG

Best Bush Policy Ever: Economic Stimulus Checks Used for Porn

Thanks to T for sending me this link.

According to the New York Times' Freakonomics blog, the Adult Internet Market Research Company, or AIMRco, pay subscriptions to adult websites increased 20-30 percent in the months following the distribution of Bush Economic Stimulus Package checks. In a survey of subscribers, a third "referenced the recent stimulus package as part of their decision to either become a new member, or renew an existing membership."

Apparently, the summer is normally a slow time for pay-for-porn sites, so this change is remarkable. Also interesting in AIMRco's statistics are that Friday nights are the most clicked days for porn sites; Sundays are the slowest.

I wonder if any of these people joined websites that feature dom/sub porn where an angry wife is punishing her husband for wasting their economic stimulus money on a porn site membership. Kinky.

Bullshit Alert: Bush's Last Minute Anti-Birth Control Policy

From Thursday's Washington Post:

Just ahead of Congressional recess and no-news August, the White House has attempted to slip a completely outrageous policy through the Department of Health and Human Services. The new policy would provide "protection" for workers at federally funded health organizations who object to certain health services, like the provision of abortion or--here's the shocker--contraception, which is being defined in this policy as abortion.

Feeling crazy yet? Here's the brief:

The DHHS disburses federal funding to a variety of health care organizations, usually those that serve low-income people or specific health needs. Examples: dental clinics for those on Medicaid; immunization clinics for children who are required to receive certain shots to attend school; and, as is most relevant here, clinics that provide family planning services, like Planned Parenthood.

Federal regulations already prohibit the use of federal funds for abortion--either in the case of individual women using Medicaid to pay for an abortion OR a clinic receiving federal funds using those funds to pay for supplies or medical staff to perform abortions. Abortion services are paid for using state funds (if allowed by state law) or by private funding.

So since the use of federal funds for abortion services is already prohibited, why the new policy?

From the Washington Post:

The most controversial section defines abortion as "any of the various procedures -- including the prescription, dispensing and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action -- that results in the termination of life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation."

That definition would include most forms of hormonal birth control and the IUD, which most major medical groups believe do not constitute abortion because they primarily affect ovulation or fertilization and not an embryo once it has implanted in the womb. (emphasis mine)

Got that? The policy is on its face intended to protect employees who feel they must object to certain procedures or medications. Fine. But why in sam hell would someone who is opposed to birth control choose to work at a family planning clinic? That's right--they wouldn't. The purpose of this policy is to attempt to define contraception as abortion. Don't buy it.

Click here to send a nasty letter to your representative and tell them this policy is unacceptable.

Breaking Testicle News: Take That Cell Phone Off Your Belt

The media doesn't seem to care about cancer until someone gets taken by the balls--Lance Armstrong, John Kruk, and so on. Last week's announcement from the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute about cell phone use got mostly shrugs but my old pal Dr. Devra Davis, director of the University of Pittsburgh's Center for Environmental Oncology was a guest on Larry King Live Tuesday night and mentioned something that oughta make people finally pay attention to the relationship between cell phone use and cancer: keeping a cell phone on your belt or in your pocket can increase your risk of testicular cancer.

Women who keep cell phones on their belts or in their pockets would also, obviously, be putting that radiation source near their ovaries, which could also develop cancer, but women are more likely to keep the phone in their handbag and not on their person. Radiation exposure in the reproductive organs can also reduce fertility. Just sayin'.

Testicular cancer? Gross. Cell phones on belt? Tacky.

Shut the fuck up, Brooke Hogan

Is Sex Without Condoms the New 'Engagment Ring'?

NPR's Youth Radio program featured a story a few days ago called "Sex Without Condoms is the New Engagement Ring," about the sex lives of the reporter's friends. He described how people he knew would spend the first part of their relationship using condoms, and then when they decided to become monogamous, they would go together to a health clinic, get STI testing, and the girl gets another birth control method--like the pill.

There was a lot of patently racist commentary in the comments section which is kind of a downer, considering that it was NPR, and then a lot of reasonable people who said, 'Um, this is actually role model behavior. It just so happens that the role model is black and to many people, anything black people say about sex indicates irresponsible behavior.' I don't know why the reporter chose 'engagement ring' as his metaphor; I think it's a weak one, from a literary standpoint. But a commitment? Absolutely.

Using condoms consistently until you get tested (and know for sure you don't have anything/get treated for what you do have) is such rare behavior that these kids should be congratulated for being responsible. The majority of college students have sex first--usually protected from pregnancy only, because they're on some hormonal method--and ask questions about STIs later.

Like when they show up in my office with a herpes diagnosis and just 'didn't know' that they were at risk.

Miley Cyrus to Endorse LifeStyles?

From the Department of You've Got to be Fucking Kidding Me, E! Online reports that LifeStyles condoms, the little condom company that couldn't, publicly offered Miley Cyrus $1 million to endorse LifeStyles to the tween set.

We've reported here before about Miley Cyrus' controversial position on virginity and are dismayed that LifeStyles would endorse an "I'm waiting till marriage" position that has a 98% chance of failing*. Not to mention that the majority of abstinence pledgers don't use condoms when they do eventually break that pledge and get busy.

On the other hand, planning to use a condom the first time you have sex is among the only things that predicts consistent and correct condom use in future sex. Jamie Lynn Spears oughta have something to say about that one.

See: "After the promise: The STD consequences of adolescent virginity pledges." Journal of Adolescent Health, Volume 36 , Issue 4 , Pages 271 - 278. H . Brückner , P . Bearman

Period Tracking: Pink and Pretty

If you're anything like Go-To Girl, you have an Outlook calendar for work, a Google calendar for bills and travel arrangements, and a paper calendar for old time's sake. Since you can't just mark a red "X" on your Google calendar, I usually just haphazardly make a note of my period in my paper planner--and then never look at it again until January of the following year, when the damn thing is out of date.

No more! Mon.Thly.Info is a website that you use to track your period and that, after a few cycles, predicts when the next one is coming. As a cautionary note, don't use this for the rhythm method unless your cycles are really, really regular. But this thing is awesome. Maybe soon it'll be compatible with Google calendar and all will be right with the world.

Q: Antidepressant Anorgasmia A: Pink Viagra?

Good news for ladies taking antidepressants but who suffer from a common, bitch of a side effect: anorgasmia, or inability to orgasm. In a study of 98 women taking antidepressants who experienced sexual side effects, Viagra was shown to improve the sexual experience of those women who took it.

The Viagra didn't improve the other common antidepressant side effects--desire and arousal problems--because Viagra doesn't treat those problems, even in men.

So this is both good news and continually shitty news. Separate classes of antidepressants are associated with anorgasmia and desire/arousal side effects, so for women taking SSRIs, Viagra might be an option. At $13 a pop, it's pretty fucking pricey.

That or Wellbutrin.

I would be remiss if I didn't send you over to Leonore Tiefer's website. Go check it out.

Austin-area Bargain: STI testing for $15

I called up Planned Parenthood of the Texas Capital Region to inquire about STI testing and a test for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV costs a mind-boggling $91. Then I called the Austin Travis County Health Department and they do the same test--with a free herpes screen if indicated--for $15.

The Health Department doesn't have a good website, but call 972-5580 for an appointment. This won't hurt a bit.

Sex Quiz

Try this one and see if you can beat me. I got 9 out of 10 right.

Little Used Masturbation Tool: The Butt Plug

Q: My boyfriend wants to try anal sex but I'm terrified that it'll hurt too much. Is there anything I can do to make it easier? I already took your advice and bought Maximus lube.

Mimi

Dear Mimi,

Few people would think to include anal play in their masturbation repetoire, but exploring your backdoor yourself is a good way to get comfortable with the idea of having something in there and realize how good it can feel.

Tristan Taormino, author of the must-read The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, writes on her website:

Decide to work your way up to one finger, two, or a small butt plug on your first try; that way, you won't rush things. Going too fast or trying to do too much is a surefire route to pain and discomfort, which we don't want. Practice a few times with fingers or small toys before you whip [the] dick out.

The more of this practice you do on your own, the better prepared you'll be to know how you'll respond when you start to go anal with your boyfriend.

As a bonus, butt plugs take up space inside the pelvis that makes it a whole lot easier to reach the G-spot with your fingers, vibrator, dildo, or whatever toy you're using.

The best thing you can do to get your body psyched for anal sex is to have an orgasm with a butt plug or fingers in your ass. That teaches your body that pleasure and orgasm are possible with anal sex--something that you'll be happy to have learned before anyone puts their cock in your ass.

Good luck!

Go-To Girl

PS-Maximus is the best.

Q: Boyfriend Hates Condoms A: Blah, blah, blah

Spermicides are gross.

Note to readers: Yes, it's masturbation week. No, spermicide has nothing to do with masturbation. But the urgency of this question (see the postscript) made me want to drop masturbation for a few minutes and answer.
--------------------

Dearest Go-To Girl,

My boyfriend is about to visit for our only time together in the next five months or so, because I'm studying abroad, so obviously sex is a top priority. Normally we just rely on the pill, [we've both been checked for STDs and are clean] but I've been on antibiotics for the past 9 days, which I know can mess with estrogens.

I've suggested using a condom for a few days, but he's completely rebuffed by the idea [could have something to do with his feeling "small" -even though he's not- and like the condoms "don't fit" him.] I went out and bought "snugger fit" condoms, but he still is pretty cool to the idea.

Today, he suggested using spermicide. Now, it could be just me, but putting some crazy chemical in my vag that falls in the categories of herbicide, pesticide, suicide and homicide gives me the heebyjeebies. Also, I've heard that it can really irritate your tissue, and if that happens then our two week stay will be fucked. Or actually, not fucked at all. Which is a problem too.

But MOST of all, I do NOT want to be PREGNANT in MEXICO.

Su ayuda, por favor...,
Feeling Sperimicidal?

PS-He's coming in two days.

Dear F.S.,

Blah blah blah, condoms are too tight for me, blah blah blah, they make sex feel weird, blah blah blah, I can't stay hard, blah blah blah. If I had just a penny for every time a guy has uttered one of the endless litany of excuses not to use condoms, I would be one rich sex blogger.

Your boyfriend is being a total douche. Here's the problem with spermicide:

a) it's a gel/foam/suppository/film that dissolves in your vagina and immobilizes sperm, preventing them from entering the cervix and fertilizing an egg;
b) it's a gel/foam/etc. that you put in your vagina that tastes like fucking gross chemical (doesn't anyone remember how nasty condoms with Nonoxynol-9 were?) and will totally burn your tongue, so oral sex is out;
c) with perfect use, it's only 81% effective. Withdrawal is more effective than that.

You have a couple of options here.

1. Don't have sex unless your boyfriend grows the fuck up and uses condoms.

2. Use spermicide, avoid pregnancy, get a raging vaginal infection. In Mexico.

3. Use spermicide, get pregnant anyway, get a raging vaginal infection. In Mexico.

4. Use condoms. Have all the sex you want. Avoid pregnancy. In Mexico.

5. Don't use anything, take Plan B. If you can get your hands on it. In Mexico.

See where I'm going with this? Spermicide is your worst option. It's not very effective, it can cause serious vaginal and penile infections, it's a chemical that will go into your vagina and smell and taste absolutely gross and then drip slowly out of you after sex. Yuck.


Condoms are clean, don't smell gross, prevent the slow dripping of anything out of you, and are super effective at preventing pregnancy. Order some Kimono Type E's and go at it.

Love,
Go-To Girl