Q: Painful Pussy. A: Ouch!

Dear Go To Girl,

I have a question you might know the answer to.

I've been seeing a girl long-distance, so we don't get that many chances to hook up. After we've been having sex for a few minutes, she starts to have pain in her vagina. She's a very juicy woman, but maybe extra lube could help? I'm a bit bigger than most guys, and she commented that my big dick might be the issue. She was also in an accident 6 years ago where her pelvis broke and altered the angle of vaginal entry, so we need to really work at insertion. Any thoughts?

Many thank-you's.
-John

Dear John,

Ouch! There's nothing worse than obstacles to long-distance-relationship sex. Your girlfriend's problem could be vaginismus, a condition in which the vagina kind of seizes up and makes sex really painful. Usually, though, vaginismus is not due to the kind of injury your girlfriend had a few years ago (again, ouch!).

A couple of things to ask her about: does it hurt when she puts other stuff in her vagina, like tampons or fingers? And are you able to penetrate her at all? Vaginismus usually prevents sex altogether because the vagina becomes so tight.

To solve this problem, your girlfriend ought to see a gynecologist and figure out what's up. Vaginismus is usually caused by subconscious stressors that often have a psychological cause (like child abuse or rape) but the treatment, which usually consists of exercises of the PC muscles, might be helpful to her. She also might have something else inside her vagina, like a sore, that is causing pain when you have sex so she should get tested for STDs. Second, try to penetrate her with fingers only for a while and see if you can get her to relax and not feel the pain. It's probably not your "big dick" though--sorry. That's hardly ever the real problem.

If all else fails, try some different positions--I don't know much about pelvic fractures, but I bet some positions hurt more than others. And more lube is always a good idea!

Love,
Go-To Girl

Sex Secrets!

A fellow blogesse, Elicia Gonzales of SHE talk, is collecting sexy secrets a la the book Post Secret. Check out her blog and post a secret anonymously--and see if you can figure out which one is mine.

Q: Are there any condoms out there that don't suck? A: Found one!

Dear GTG,

I don't know what to do--I've met this guy and things are going great but I haven't used condoms in ages and I don't know which kind to buy. My corner drugstore has a dizzying array and I don't want to spend twelve bucks on rubbers that I end up hating after the first try. I don't like spermicide and I want them to be super thin. Any recommendations?

Rubbergirl

Dear RG,

While my normal advice when it comes to condoms is just "Yes!" I actually have a specific recommendation for you. I'm normally a Trojan girl (Ultra Thins, if you please) but I've discovered a condom that I just adore: The Kimono Type E. Kimono is a fantastic Japanese brand, and the Type E is the best yet. It's green (not its best feature) and has lots of ribs and dots that you can actually feel. The latex is so thin that it's as though it's not there at all.



When you're in the market for condoms, try to hit up a good sex toy store like Babeland or Good Vibrations that have samples out of the wrappers for you to feel. I like to take each condom between two fingers and rub them together--if you can feel heat between your fingers as you rub, you should be able to feel heat when you use them for sex. If you don't have such a store near you, go to the Babeland or GoodVibes website and order a selection of condoms--you can buy them individually and try them out til you find one you like.

Good luck!
Go-To Girl

Virginity is so hot right now

Loss Of Virginity More Humiliating Than Original Virginity

Virginia: Fuck Yeah!!!

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine continues kicking ass and taking names this week by eliminating Virginia's matching abstinence-only sex education funding. This step will end the federal government's AFLA funding to the state, too. This takes Virginia a few steps closer to being the state that will decide the 2008 election in favor of Democrats. Fuck yeah!

From the Washington Post.

Q: Blow-job dirty talk? A: Yes, but mind thy tongue

This Is The Point In The Blow Job Where I Have To Be Careful What I Say

Ordinarily, I am a candid, even verbose individual, but this is a particularly sensitive time for me, so I will try to remain brief. We have...

Word of the Day: Kakistocracy

No, I am not making this up.

Kakistocracy: A system of government in which the worst people are in power.

Obviously, this is now my favorite word. It's probably really pronounced "cackistocracy" but clearly needs to be pronounced "cockistocracy"

As in:

"What the fuck? Congress is allocating MORE money for abstinence-only? We are so under the thumb of a total kakistocracy."