Gross, But Real: Palin Sex Tape

I love you, Larry Flynt. Seriously.

He's produced a porno featuring an actress who looks startlingly, really, truly, like our dear Maverick Team Co-Captain Sarah Palin.

Watch it here.

Review: "The Price of Pleasure: Pornography, Sexuality and Relationships"

Tonight I attended the world premiere of "The Price of Pleasure: Pornography, Sexuality and Relationships" right here in Austin. I was invited by Bob Jensen, UT's resident feminist anti-porn scholar.

The film's title and narration promised an analysis of porn, sexuality, and relationships and it delivered on the first of the three. Obviously anti-porn, the film revealed the normally hidden class conflict of the porn wars by depicting articulate college students as the intelligently anti-porn interviewees and juxtaposed meaty, douchey guys standing in its favor. At least they interviewed Joanna Angel, one of my favorite porn stars who appears in Tristan Taormino's "House of Ass."

Relationships, or, more specifically, what effect (if any) porn has on them wasn't covered, either: I wish it had been. Sexuality wasn't dealt with much, except in that homosexuality and gay porn was noticeably absent.

When I encounter activists who would eliminate porn I [almost] ask aloud the question I'm always asking: "What about the fucking?" The hypothesis is that porn, because of its depiction of violence against women on film, heightens violence against women in real life. Ignoring, for a moment, the fact that no research has ever supported that claim, if violence does increase, doesn't sex go up with it?

If the goal is to eliminate violence against women by eliminating porn, what about the fucking? The judgment of the aggression and violence is clear, but not so on the sex that is portrayed. Should [educated, in the know academic types] eschew both violence and sex? Or at least, certain kinds of sex that the anti-porn crusaders find distasteful? The question of whether or not the sex that porn is portraying is okay when it doesn't appear on film isn't addressed by this debate.

Part of the instrument used by "porn content researchers" depicted in the film revealed the behaviors they deemed "violent and aggressive": spanking and gagging. First of all, spanking is Kink 101--a slap on the ass doth not a violent sex scene make. And gagging--have any of these researchers ever given anyone a blow job? Or eaten a popsicle? Sometimes you gag.

I know people--indeed, some of their questions have been answered right here on Go-To Girl, who enjoy, say, being slapped in the face during sex. Were their desires influenced by porn? Perhaps. But do they not have a right to engage in sex they find exciting, pleasurable, and consensual? Yes, they do.

I have encountered enough educated, sensitive, liberal types who secretly, guiltily long for sex that is aggressive, at times violent, and basically the antithesis of the feminist, peacelove ideology they were raised with.

Sex guilt is bad, no matter whether the source is conservative religion or liberal parenting.

PS--Not to mention that there is a profit motive behind porn control--the Promise Keepers offer filtered internet and an "internet accountability" service for $7.99 a month that lets you have the report of what you've been doing online sent to your wife, kids, or pastor. What better way to get men to sign up for your service than by convincing them that porn is bad and that they're helpless against its powers? I wonder what the Christian Spanking people think of it...

Little Used Masturbation Tool: The Butt Plug

Q: My boyfriend wants to try anal sex but I'm terrified that it'll hurt too much. Is there anything I can do to make it easier? I already took your advice and bought Maximus lube.

Mimi

Dear Mimi,

Few people would think to include anal play in their masturbation repetoire, but exploring your backdoor yourself is a good way to get comfortable with the idea of having something in there and realize how good it can feel.

Tristan Taormino, author of the must-read The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, writes on her website:

Decide to work your way up to one finger, two, or a small butt plug on your first try; that way, you won't rush things. Going too fast or trying to do too much is a surefire route to pain and discomfort, which we don't want. Practice a few times with fingers or small toys before you whip [the] dick out.

The more of this practice you do on your own, the better prepared you'll be to know how you'll respond when you start to go anal with your boyfriend.

As a bonus, butt plugs take up space inside the pelvis that makes it a whole lot easier to reach the G-spot with your fingers, vibrator, dildo, or whatever toy you're using.

The best thing you can do to get your body psyched for anal sex is to have an orgasm with a butt plug or fingers in your ass. That teaches your body that pleasure and orgasm are possible with anal sex--something that you'll be happy to have learned before anyone puts their cock in your ass.

Good luck!

Go-To Girl

PS-Maximus is the best.

Welcome to Masturbation Week!

No, this isn't me. (but it sure does kinda look like me...)

In keeping with the tradition of answering lingering fishbowl questions, I've decided to take the fishbowl theme of masturbation and bring it to the blog for the whole week.

Here we go!

Q: Do you have any sex toys?

A: Dear God, yes. I have multiple tiers of sex toys: those that are in regular, day-to-day rotation, those that are relaxing-evening-at-home toys, and those that I've tried, rejected, and are just laying around taking up space in my giant walk-in closet.

You can see reviews of toys I've written and posted here.

In Go-To Girl's own arsenal are the following:

Regular Rotation:


The Babeland Silver Bullet. Cheap, powerful, and versatile, this bullet is a stand-by. At the bargain price of $15 I've been happy to replace it as necessary--once a year or so.


O'My Natural Lubricant. Not my favorite lube for anal (see Maximus) but generally good all around; not too thin, doesn't taste gross or smell bad. Lube, obviously, is a must. And the pump top and the pretty bottle make it both convenient (believe me--when you're at the moment that you need lube, you don't want to bother unscrewing a top) and discreet (for when you forget to put it away when your friends/family are coming to spend the night).


Occasional:


The Dynamic Duo Bullet is just like the regular bullet, except it has two bullets for double the fun.


Tex. Best. Dildo. Ever. $96 and worth every fucking penny. It's silicone so it can be heated up or cooled down and is sterilizable.


Cock rings. They come with the harness but sometimes they come in really handy.


The Tantus Ryder butt plug. Totally awesome. Silicone and sterilizable.


The Tantus Silk dildo. Silicone and sterilizable.


Sportsheets Velvet Harness. For dildos. Machine-washable.


Smart Balls. These are new so I'm not entirely sure that I like them yet. But they're supposed to strengthen your muscles and stuff.

Practically in the Trash:

The Ideal which is incredibly loud and super-powerful. Really, it's just better as a massager. A back massager.


The Cone. I just can't figure this thing out.

State of California v. The Porn Industry

According to CNN, California is again trying to penalize the use of pornography, this time by levying a 25% tax on strip clubs, videos, and websites. Yawn.

The talking head in the CNN segment rattles on and on about porn being bad, claims that "some divorce lawyers" attribute more than 50% of their divorce cases to pornography use. Pornography is also "killing our families and our society!!!" he shrieks.

The bill, AB 2914, was introduced by Assemblyman Charles Calderon. The bill also calls for an 8% tax, not a 25% tax as the CNN guy erroneously states.

Calling for the creation of the Adult Entertainment Venue Impact Fund, which the tax would pay for, the bill plans to use its monies to ameliorate the "Secondary effects" of adult venues. That means property taxes, law enforcement, and funding to address "mental health" and "disease transmission." The bill doesn't specify whether that money would go to people who work in the industry or those poor, poor divorcees who wouldn't tolerate their husband's porn habit.

Maybe they could compromise on some wife spanking.

Snake Oil Alert: This is not 10-10-50

Okay, guys, don't be taken in by this. A professional wrestler-cum-Fox News financial commentator has "invented" a sexual stamina beverage.

Mr. Layfield...enjoyed a successful run as a professional wrestler before reinventing himself as a financial whiz and beverage impresario.

He's also from Texas. And this is his reason for making the normally boozy drink okay for underage guys:

“Show me an 18-year-old guy who doesn’t want to be a sexual tyrannosaurus,” he said.

I mean, tyrannosaurus? I realize that we here in Texas don't have the best primary school education but I don't think of "Long, Hard, Hot, and most importantly Long" when I think of Mr. T. Rex. I think of overly aggressive, loud, blows his load right away, and giant teeth. I don't think "carnivore" means "likes to eat pussy." And those tiny little hands!

And at $23.99 a 6-pack, why not just buy some weed?

It's not Whiskey-dick; It's Effexor

Anorexia? Sexual Dysfunction? Anxiety? This is treatment?

From today's New York Times:

Coming of Age on Antidepressants addresses the concerns of psychiatrists (or, some psychiatrists--I've never been convinced psychiatrists have many concerns about anything) about the long term use of antidepressants beginning in childhood or early adolescence.

While the part I care about (the sex part) isn't until the end, it's a zinger:

Beyond these concerns, there are other important issues to consider in long-term use of antidepressants, especially in young people. One patient, a woman in her mid-20s, told me that she felt pressured by her boyfriend to have sex more often than she wanted. “I’ve always had a low sex drive,” she said.

For the past eight years she had been taking Zoloft, which like all the antidepressants in its class is known to lower libido and to interfere with sexual performance. She had understandably mistaken the side effect of the drug for her “normal” sexual desire and was shocked when I explained it: “And I thought it was just me!”

Drug companies and psychiatrists try to minimize the sexual side effects of antidepressants; at times, for good reason. A lower sex drive beats suicide, at least in the short term. But in the long term, the experience of low sex drive and/or reduced (or eliminated) orgasmic ability can be enough to cause relationship meltdown and, guess what? More depression.

I'm glad someone is paying attention to this. So many college students take antidepressants that the population-level effect of the sexual side effects is mind-boggling. Take heart, guys: it might not be whiskey dick after all: it's Effexor!

Sex Toys in Paris

Not Paris Hilton, you pervs!

Dear Go-To Girl,

Do you or any of your friends know of any good sex toy stores in Paris?

World Traveller

Dear WT,

While I have been to Paris and, I think, made a point of going to what my guidebook said was the "gay" district, I can't remember seeing any sex toy stores.

But seriously, I found this store, Rebecca Rils, "la boutique des plaisirs de feminin."

Looking at their prices for toys with which I'm familiar, it looks like the exchange rate is going to really get you if you buy toys in Paris. For instance, the Freshvibe costs 55 Euros and the nearly identical version at Babeland is $62.

Given the Euro/Dollar exchange rate, that vibrator will cost you $86.54 if you buy it in Paris. Yikes. But hey; when you need a vibrator you need a vibrator.

Good luck!

Love,
GTG

Q: I bought "The Cone." I hate it. A: You're SOL.

Dear Go-To Girl,
I made a huge mistake. After my recent breakup, I desperately needed a new sex toy and I bought one without consulting you first. I got "The Cone." I hate it. What should I do?
Love,
Confused by the Cone

Dear CC,

I, too, am confused by The Cone. Every time I went to visit my friend who works at Babeland I would put my hands around it and wonder why anyone would spend $130 on a vibrating cone. There are a lot of vibrator shapes out there that manage to be both weird and orgasm-inducing, but a cone-shape isn't one I think of when I think of product success.
Since you can't return sex toys, I did some research into The Cone and here are my suggestions, which are based on the user comments at the Babeland site:

You have to sit on it.
Try out all the different vibrating options.
Use a second vibe for your clit. (I know, paying $130 for something that can't stand alone is infuriating)

If all else fails, clean it thoroughly and try to pawn it off on someone else.

Love,
GTG

Review: O'My "Pixie"

Bullet vibrators come in two grades: amateur and professional. A great introduction to the world of vibrators, many bullets are made of hard, smooth plastic and churn through batteries at a rapid clip.

For those for whom the bullet vibe becomes a regular in their sex toy arsenal, the hard, smooth plastic cheapies do not suffice. That’s where the higher-end bullets, like O’My’s Pixie, come in.

The Pixie comes in three colors—pink, blue, and purple, making it easy to coordinate--or contrast—-with the rest of the toys in your box. Made of a nonporous silicone that also provides vital friction, the Pixie holds its own against the clit without becoming too slippery. Pixie is waterproof, making it a good toy for the shower or for internal play. Just make sure you clean it thoroughly afterwards!

The Pixie also comes with a nubby elastomer cover that can turn it into a vibrating cock ring that can be used on a cock or fingers.

At $20.99, the Pixie is a little pricier than other bullets, but for the higher quality materials and additional features it’s worth it. One factor to keep in mind with any vibrator is how quickly they use batteries. A $5 vibe that eats up a new set of AA’s with each use will quickly become more expensive than the $25 bullet whose batteries don’t need to be changed for months.

The Pixie has four speeds and when I first turned it on I expected a really strong vibration at the highest speed, but that’s not what I got. It was strong enough (and maybe my batteries weren’t too fresh) but I was surprised that I had to keep it turned on “Super” for the duration.

Though it only comes with one bullet, the Pixie has two jacks so that you can plug in another bullet if you have a friend to play with or just want to use two hands. The removable bullet also makes cleaning easier and eliminates those embarrassing, “What’s that buzzing inside my suitcase?” moments at airport security.

One of the marks of a higher quality bullet is its volume: lots of the cheaper ones seem designed to allow for maximum rattling and therefore zero privacy if you live with someone else. The Pixie isn’t totally silent, but it’s quieter than some other bullets I've used.

Bullet vibes are different than shaft-shaped ones; they can be inserted and pushed against the G-spot but are primarily intended to use on the clit. Try the Pixie inserted into the vagina with a butt plug to keep it in proximity to the G-spot and plug in another bullet to the second jack for the clit. Just an idea.

Q: Did God intend for pussy to taste like passionfruit? A: Ew. No.

New review is up!

With so many high-quality sex lubes out there today, it can be difficult for a newcomer to differentiate itself from its shelf-mates. O’My has entered the fray with a wide variety of lubes: silicone and water-based, flavored and “natural.”

First, the “natural” flavor. Where a lot of unflavored lubes go wrong is by including some ingredient that, while not a “flavor,” leaves a nasty taste in your mouth or a smell on your hands that kills the mood. My favorite lube, Maximus, tastes like tonic water and kind of makes your tongue go numb. Not hot.

O’My’s Natural Lubricant is great: It’s thick enough for both vaginal and anal play and it smells like aloe, not chemicals. It comes in a pretty, teardrop-shaped purple bottle that passes the bedside table test: the label says “natural” and nothing else. Unless someone looked closely, they’d think that nice bottle by your bed is hand lotion.

Since it’s water-based, O’My Natural doesn’t stain sheets and washes out easily. The pump top can be turned so that it is securely closed and packable. The 4 oz. bottle costs $13.95, which is kind of pricey but the subtlety of the bottle makes it a good investment.

I confess to being completely averse to flavored lubes in general; unless they’re being used over a piece of latex, strawberry or coconut just doesn’t taste good when added to the natural taste of someone’s private parts. I'm not really sure I actually understand under what circumstances they're supposed to be used. I get flavored condoms for blow jobs, but why do you need lube, too? And flavored lube on pussy is wretched, people. Trust me.

As far as flavored lubes go, O’My’s Strawberry Cheesecake and Passion Fruit are good. Each of these lubes is slightly less sticky than the Natural, meaning that they probably wouldn’t be very good for anal play. O’My’s flavored lubes are all sugar-free, which means that they won’t stick to your skin like candy and won’t cause nasty yeast infections which traditional flavored lubes are known to.

The Strawberry Cheesecake tastes like a strawberry Jell-O shot and the Passion Fruit tastes like liqueur. Neither of these flavors is bad, but I personally wouldn’t want to add them to sex. Perhaps the Girls Gone Wild people should invent a GGW shot for which a girl licks some flavored lube off some other girl's nipple and then takes a swill of tequila.

Strawberry Cheesecake’s bottle is the same as the Natural, but red; Passion Fruit is orange. The name of the flavor is the only text on the bottle, so these lubes also pass the bedside table test.

In addition to these three types, O’My has flavored lubes in Melon, Cappuccino, Cherry, Kiwi Strawberry, Blueberry Cheesecake, and Pina Colada. Why not have a tasting party? Where are you, Girls Gone Wild?

New Toy Reviews!

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Q: How do lesbians have sex? A: Join this website.

Remember Crash Pad and Superfreak? Now there's a pay site with continuously updated dyke porn here. It's a little bit pricey but my brief glance at the video previews shows that it's indeed totally hot.

Here's a preview of the Dylan and Trucker video:

South Carolina wins "American Cockblocker" Award

Goddammit. I mean, seriously.

SC Sex Toy Ban Proposed

Thou Shalt Not Fuck Vegetables: Lingering Fishbowl Questions, Part 2

Part 2 in a 4-part series of leftover questions from the FGC Fishbowl.



Q: What are some good cheap/grocery store dildos?

A: For the LOVE OF GOD, do NOT put any fruits or vegetables in your orifices. Seriously. There is a tremendous variety of noxious chemicals sprayed on all kinds of produce (especially cucumbers, a common veggie-cum-sex toy) that are absolutely not okay to introduce to your internal surfaces.

Other objects, like candles, flashlights, water bottles and the like can be okay if and only if they are absolutely clean--but be gentle using anything hard. Do not, under any circumstances, put anything in your ass that does not have either a string or a flared base. Any emergency room doctor will tell you horror stories about the things they've had to surgically remove from people's asses. I'm all for anal experimentation, but use your fingers, a penis, or a toy designed for that purpose.


Right: Anal beads, with a circular handle so they don't get lost.

If you really want a cheap, entry-level dildo, try a jelly toy. They suck, but they're cheap and if you really like using a dildo, you can trade up for something better and silicone. See this previous post on jelly vs. silicone toys.

Love,
GTG

Q: Are Jelly Toys bad for me? A: Yes. And they suck.

Thanks to my friend Marilyn for the tip to this article on MSNBC which, more than a year after my Sex Herald article "Playing it Safe With Sex Toys" brings phthalate-fear to the masses. (Not that I'm accusing them of plagiarism or anything...)

I have a friend who is a world-renowned researcher on chemical exposure and cancer, and when I asked her about the potential effects of phthalate exposure she said, "[E]specially if these toys are applied internally, there will be measurable absorption and risks." I know, "applied internally" is a pretty hilarious way to describe sex toy use. But you've got to get Real Scientific Information when you can.

So what is a "jelly toy"? The majority of downscale vibrators and dildos available at sex toy parties and "Adult DVD" stores are jelly. They often have a vanilla-esque smell and are soft and sticky.

Here's the one pictured above, called "Freshman." As in, after your freshman year you've got to upgrade to something better.

Jelly toys are fine for first timers; they're cheap and widely available. But yes, they might cause cancer, and if you're in the market for a dildo, silicone is vastly better.



This dildo, called Tex, is my favorite; it's pricey, but totally worth it.

Q: How do lesbians have sex? A: Watch this movie, Part 2

Remember "The Crash Pad," that fiesta of butch girls wearing strap-ons and female ejaculation? Well, director Shine Louise Houston is back again with "Superfreak," a movie that (brace yourself) has hot girls and bois become possessed by the ghost of the Original Superfreak Rick James and then have "Superfreaky" sex. I know. If you can get past the premise, and, really, what porn viewer pays attention to the premise, anyway? then "Superfreak" is actually an improvement on "CP." More girls, a few hot returning characters, and way more sex.

"Superfreak" opens with bondage and fetish model Madison Young jerking off on the couch to, believe it or not, "On Our Backs"” magazine. Rick James, through artful camera work, enters MadisonÂ’s body and brings her to a powerful, Hitachi Magic Wand-induced orgasm.

Madison crashes a party and pulls “Crash” veteran Dylan Rion away from her dance partner for a behind-the-couch fuck. Those who remember Dylan as the femme in the middle of the hot threesome scene in “Crash” might not recognize her here: she’s all boi-ed out, and she looks superhot with short hair and sweater vest. She fucks Madison against the wall, standing up, a feat of strength for anyone.

After Dylan and Madison’s scene, we see returning couple Vasa (known as Jiz Lee in “Crash”) and Shawn getting wet in the kitchen sink. After thoroughly hosing each other down with the sink hose, they fuck in their signature frantic, intense style on virtually every surface in the kitchen. Sadly, Vasa/Jiz doesn't repeat "Crash"'s amazing squirt, but these two are fun to watch anyway.

No room at this party escapes use: next we find real couple (but fake-named) Guy Handful and Rozen hilariously act out lesbodrama in the bathroom before fucking long and hard all over the floor, much to the chagrin of the six or seven ladies waiting in line outside. Rozen is my favorite girl in the film: she's super hot and watching Guy fuck her reminds anybody who's had a good set of hands go to work on her just how good it can feel.

The final scene features porn stars Lorelei Lee, Princess Donna and Dana DeArmond in an all-femme threesome that gives us the first real anal scene in the movie. Watch this one to see Dana put four fingers in Lorelei’s ass at the same time that Donna has four in her pussy. While they occasionally drift into porno-girl noises, this scene is really hot.

The “Superfreak” DVD comes with a second disc of special features that has bloopers, cast interviews, and a TV special about Houston’s path to pornmakerdom. While not hot per se, the features are illuminating and give fans some insight into the intricacies of queer relationships and participation in porn.

“Superfreak” is much more “porno” than “Crash” and that makes it both more fun and less hot. The Rick James plot device is no more ridiculous than any other porn storyline, but part of the beauty of “Crash” was that there was so little unnecessary dialogue to dampen the mood. But “Superfreak” does fulfill the big need left by “Crash” for more fucking. There is more anal, more oral, and more fucking in general in “Superfreak,” and that alone makes it great. Fans of female ejaculation will be disappointed; there are no visible squirts this time.

The Go-To Guide to Getting Pegged

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Q: How do lesbians have sex? A: Watch this movie.

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Carcinogenic sex toys?

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