Monday, December 10, 2007

Q: I bought "The Cone." I hate it. A: You're SOL.

Dear Go-To Girl,
I made a huge mistake. After my recent breakup, I desperately needed a new sex toy and I bought one without consulting you first. I got "The Cone." I hate it. What should I do?
Confused by the Cone

Dear CC,

I, too, am confused by The Cone. Every time I went to visit my friend who works at Babeland I would put my hands around it and wonder why anyone would spend $130 on a vibrating cone. There are a lot of vibrator shapes out there that manage to be both weird and orgasm-inducing, but a cone-shape isn't one I think of when I think of product success.
Since you can't return sex toys, I did some research into The Cone and here are my suggestions, which are based on the user comments at the Babeland site:

You have to sit on it.
Try out all the different vibrating options.
Use a second vibe for your clit. (I know, paying $130 for something that can't stand alone is infuriating)

If all else fails, clean it thoroughly and try to pawn it off on someone else.



Seth said...

It's nice to know that my lack of a vagina is not the reason I find that toy inexplicable and improbable.

par said...

Seth, you don't need a vagina to enjoy The Cone. I am enjoying four of them at once RIGHT NOW. True story.