Really, people, I can't even dream up stuff this ridiculous. While vacationing in the secret Marin County town of Bolinas, California this weekend I came upon an article in the local paper about--wait for it--The Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace.
The idea behind the Global Orgasm is that, apparently, some Scientist somewhere believes that the positive energy emitted after an orgasm could, if done on a mass global scale, really make peace in the world.
According to Scientists at the "Global Consciousness Project," which, apparently, exists:
Our minds influence Matter and Quantum Energy fields, so by concentrating our thoughts during and after The Big O on peace and partnership, the combination of high orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention for peace could reduce global levels of violence, hatred and fear.
Obviously, the Global Orgasm will take place on Solstice, which is to say, December 22nd. For those of you not currently residing in New Age La-La Land, solstice is both the shortest day of the year and a day that hippies believe has magical powers. Or whatever.
This is from the website:
WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone you know.
WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction and places where violence is used in place of mediation.
WHEN? Solstice Day - December 22, at 06:08 Universal Time (GMT)
WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy.
In case you'd like to participate (and, hey, it can't hurt), here are the times in America:
Washington, DC: Saturday, 1:08 am
Chi-town (I figure Kels can do plenty for world peace): Saturday, 12:08 am
San Francisco: Friday, 10:08 pm
Good luck, everyone. If the war is still going on come Sunday, I'll know ya'll didn't come hard enough.