Friday, October 31, 2008

Getting Fucked:
Insurance Companies Overcharge Women

As if the gobbledygook from both candidates about their "health plans" which will, in Obama's case, not actually cover all people or, in McCain's case, actually tax people on health benefits for the first time since ERISA was passed in the 1970s, wasn't enough to drive you completely insane, brace yourselves.

According to a report in the New York Times, women purchasing individual (i.e., not employer-based) health plans pay on average 30% more for their policies than men. Why? Because they "use more healthcare" and "have children."

"Using more healthcare" usually means that women get less sick than men--this is one reason why women live longer. Men are less likely to go to the doctor until they are very sick or broken or coughing up blood--which means expensive bills later instead of women's smaller bills over time. But insurance companies hope against hope (and, a lot of times, they're right) that men will wait until they're 65 to get really expensively sick and then they're Medicare's problem.

But the part that really burns my cookies is the maternity coverage. Many insurance plans cost more even if they don't include maternity benefits, which is an optional coverage that costs even more. Yes, pregnancy and childbirth are expensive and require regular medical care--but women aren't pregnant all the time so to overcharge them every month for premiums is discriminatory and ridiculous.

And even if women are the only ones who actually get pregnant, in the aggregate, men usually have a role in getting them into that family way so it's fair to share the financial burden.

Moral of the story: Insurance companies--fuck 'em.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Not in New York:
Manhattan College's "Virgin Club"

The New York Times reports that the president (cum priest) of Manhattan College (which is not in Manhattan at all, but in Riverdale, which is in the Bronx) proposed to students that to aid them in abiding by the school's rule that they not have sex on campus, someone found an abstinence club.

No takers.

The student newspaper, The Quadrangle, broke the story to much acclaim. I know the feeling. Back in the days of yore my first published article was about the sex policy* at my Very Exclusive Quaker Boarding School, entitled, I kid you not, "Sex From All Angles" It was read simultaneously by every student in the school. Suffice it to say, the taste of fame has stayed with me.

To paraphrase a quoted student who was my boyfriend in ninth grade, "Sex is not an ill." Manhattan College, take note: it won't work.

Very Exclusive Quaker Boarding School understands that adolescent development includes issues of friendship, attachment, and romantic intimacy. While affirming young people’s need to express their sexuality, the School believes that adolescents are not yet ready to bear the responsibilities associated with sexual intimacy. Therefore, the School’s policy is that intimate sexual contact among students is not appropriate within the context of school life and may have disciplinary consequences. Violations of this School rule may result in suspension or dismissal from the School.
However, such situations will be addressed discreetly, respectfully, and with care for those involved. Very Exclusive Quaker Boarding School recognizes that there will be occasions when students need education, counseling, or medical care in areas related to sexuality. Students’ concerns may be about themselves or their peers. While the School also recognizes that it is sometimes difficult for students to talk about these issues, we highly encourage all members of our community to seek assistance utilizing the health resources available at Very Exclusive Quaker Boarding School.
Students who wish to receive information, support, or counseling regarding sexual health have several options at Very Exclusive Quaker Boarding School.
1. Speak with a faculty member. Students may choose to confer with a teacher, dorm parent, advisor or coach. The faculty member can listen, help clarify the School’s expectations, and refer the student to one of the Health Center staff.
2. Speak directly with a member of the Health Center staff. Students may visit the Health Center to ask for information, to make an appointment to speak
confidentially with one of the staff physicians, nurses, or therapists, or to ask for a referral to a professional in the local community.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

CNN: Wearing Red Boosts Sex Appeal? What About Pink?

To paraphrase Elle Woods, "Whoever said red was the new pink was seriously disturbed."

According to,
[The researchers] "think that red, due to the association with hearts and
Valentine's Day and lingerie and things like that, takes on a sexy meaning,"
says Elliot. "There's also a possibility -- a rather provocative possibility --
that there's a deeply embedded sort of tendency for heterosexual men to see red
as an attraction cue because that's what happens in the wild."

Really? Sex organs become engorged with blood during arousal, which makes vaginas red. And nipples red. And lips red. None of which are inherently sexy except that you usually only see them when you're about to have sex. Which is sexy.

Incidentally, I'm wearing a red sweater today. And, of course, I have red hair. Hmm.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Times Says: Women Cheat More?

Congratulations, women! In an article in today's Times, Tara Parker-Pope reports that research has begun to show that we ladies are closing the cheating gap. Researchers reported several findings, including that, in the same sample, the rate at which women reported having sex outside their marriages increased five-fold when they took computerized questionnaires versus in-person interviews.

Both men and women in newish marriages are cheating, too: 20% of men and 15% of women under 35 have cheated. The studies don't ask when people cheat, so it's impossible to say whether women cheat mid-marriage or closer to the end. But other research has shown that cheating by men tends not to end a relationship but that cheating by women--either because men can't forgive women or because women cheat when they want out--leads to divorce.

As I always say...sexual behavior at the population level does not change significantly over time. So, no, I don't think women are cheating more. I think they're reporting more honestly. And this research also doesn't distinguish between couples that choose to be nonmonogamous--through swinging or some other arrangement--or outright cheating.

But for married people, more sex with more partners is probably just what the doctor ordered. Just sayin'.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Q: My vagina is too tight! A: Riiiight.

Dear Go-To Girl,

I am having trouble finding real advice as to how to stretch my vagina to make sex more comfortable. I have had a good deal of sex in my life, with all sizes and shapes of boys. However, the current sampling is rather well endowed, to the point that he has terrible difficulty entering me and if I come, it causes him great pain. Oddly enough, it just feels rather delightful for me, the fullness is quite delicious. I actually do think, upon further analysis and much masturbation, my vagina is smaller than it used to be. Could I have pulled something? Could it be as a result of 5 months of celibacy? The doctor said there was nothing physically wrong. I have been using toys like crazy, and it seems to make no difference. I have ordered a set of dilators- but I could use some more advice on this issue, if its out there.

Dear Charlene,
This is the "This might sound douchey, but I really do find Magnums more comfortable" of girl questions. So your boyfriend is too big, you're too tight, and that causes him "pain"?


I don't think the problem is in your vagina--I think the problem is in your boyfriend's brain.
As far as I know, tight vaginas prized pretty much everywhere, and not just because they're usually attached to girls that are "young" or "barely legal." Or come in dozens. (Please join me in googling "tight pussy")

Tightness is prized because it feels good.

Vaginas are "too tight" when the woman who owns the vagina finds penetration with something--fingers, tampons, dilators, penises--painful in a way that doesn't go away after a few minutes of, um, practice. Unless you have vagina dentata, your vagina's contractions when you come shouldn't be causing pain to any nearby penises. Quite the contrary.
So, yeah, you can try dilators but they're designed for women who experience pain, not men. You might try putting a few fingers inside your vagina when you're coming so you can feel what your boyfriend claims to feel and see what it's like.
But really, no, your vagina isn't too tight. Your boyfriend is basically complaining that his new Porsche that he won on The Price is Right doesn't have enough legroom. Give me a fucking break.
Go-To Girl

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Who Knew? "Go-To Girl" is Dirty!

From my pals over at UrbanDictionary:

go-to girl
The girl you think about when you're masturbating to help you finish. Named because that's where your brain "goes to".
"Everytime I beat off Shannon is my go-to girl."

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Prescriptions Down Nationwide:
What About Birth Control?

The New York Times published an article today that reports prescriptions are down nationally. Profiling several patients--most of whom are of Medicare age--who are, because of high costs and tough economic times, taking drugs less often than prescribed, smaller doses by halving pills, or foregoing certain medications altogether.

Sure, a $65 Nuva Ring doesn't compare to a $500 a month Alzheimer's drug, but young women--who, like the retired, have limited income--are hard hit by financial hard times and may be forced to stop using their birth control or, worse, taking a pill every other day. The consequences--unintended pregnancy--are real and financially life-altering.

If you find yourself forced to choose to stop taking your prescription birth control, stock up on condoms. I'm working on a longer article on making birth control feasible during tough economic times--it'll be forthcoming. But for now, seriously, buy some rubbers.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Gross, But Real: Palin Sex Tape

I love you, Larry Flynt. Seriously.

He's produced a porno featuring an actress who looks startlingly, really, truly, like our dear Maverick Team Co-Captain Sarah Palin.

Watch it here.

My Friends, We're In the "Danger Zone"

Seriously, McCain? As if hearing about Joe the lying sack of Plumber during every f-ing speech isn't enough, now McC is playing Kenny Loggins' "Danger Zone" at the end of his rallies.

Really, my friend?

Look, my friend, I get that you're a decorated veteran. I remember the song from "Top Gun." I also remember rollerskating around the gym while the song played on a 45rpm record player while I was at day camp in Fairlington. I was there, McC. Don't ruin this song for me, my friend.

"Danger Zone" is a great song. But it's not the kind of song you want to use to try to convince voters that you're the "security" candidate. Just sayin'.

You've also played "We Will Rock You," which makes a little more sense, but why all the 80's power tunes? I feel like I'm in Disney's
"Underdog Badminton Team Full of Chubby Kids and Bespectacled Nerds Surprises Everyone to Win Against the Chinese Team and Protect Our Freedoms"

movie. And it ain't good. You don't have Emilio Estevez, my friend.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Go-To Girl Loves Men Who Love Cats!

Go-To Cat, helping me do research.

Look--I like cats. I have cats. They are awesome. I appreciate dogs the way I appreciate children--on occasion, in sight of the time when they will go home/leave/go to sleep. Cats, for some reason, are considered "feminine" or "gay" and so the Big Straight Guy pet is, obviously, a dog. Preferably some Uber Masculine dog like a Pit Bull, Boxer, or, for the Strong Yet Sensitive Guy, a Golden Retriever.

The irony is that having a dog is like having a child, so all these Straight Guys are basically providing child care for their furry, slobbery, barky friends. Talk about emasculating.

Cats have to be negotiated with. They want you to want to be around them, but they don't want to be around you if you seem too eager. They want you to pet them, but they may or may not be interested in licking you or nuzzling you back. There's no tit for tat with cats. The tighter you hold them, the more they struggle to get away. Sounds like stuff most Straight Guys could learn a little bit about.

So how delighted am I that there's this new website,, devoted to (ostensibly) straight guys with cats. I'm suspicious of anyone who describes themselves as a Straight Guy or SOOOO straight, totally Fucking Straight, etc.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Official Gmail Blog: New in Labs: Stop sending mail you later regret

Official Gmail Blog: New in Labs: Stop sending mail you later regret

No More Drunk-Mailing!

Thanks, L, for the tip. Who hasn't sent a "You know, I really miss you sometimes" or "What are you doing right now?" email and wound up in an emotional pickle late at night? You either get the booty call you were looking for or no response at all, which when you sober up makes you feel like a total idiot.

Via, for those of us who use Gmail (and who doesn't, really, that's worth drunk-mailing?), Google has introduced Mail Goggles, a feature that asks senders to solve a few easy math problems before sending.

Hopefully soon they'll introduce a feature that will keep you from drunk-Googling and drunk-web stalking the guy you met at the bar.

Thanks, Google. I look forward to your world domination.