Saturday, December 13, 2008

Get me Al Gore!
New Enviro-Disaster: Shorter Penises!

Thanks, V, for this tip. My old pal Dr. Devra Davis has been writing about the feminizing effects of chemical exposures for years now, and I remember joking with her when I helped her proofread her book, When Smoke Ran Like Water, that if the threat of smaller penises and undescended testicles wasn't enough to get men in power to pay attention to the environment, then there was no hope for us as humans. Threaten their junk and boys start to listen. I've known that since the second grade.

In England, they're paying attention to the Serious Threat that is Smaller Penis Size. This shocking reveal was published in the UK's The Independent:
Indeed, new research at the University of Rochester in New York state shows that boys born to mothers with raised levels of phthalates were more likely to have smaller penises and undescended testicles. They also had a shorter distance between their anus and genitalia, a classic sign of feminisation. And a study at Rotterdam's Erasmus University showed that boys whose mothers had been exposed to PCBs grew up wanting to play with dolls and tea sets rather than with traditionally male toys.

While there's nothing wrong with boys who want to play with dolls and tea sets, hopefully this will help explain to the "homosexuality is a choice" blowhards that chemicals interact with genes to cause these effects. Which means that sexual orientation is genetic. Got that?
And guess where else phthalates are found? That's right, sex toys. Read my previous work about jelly toys here and here.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Andy Samberg--"Jizz in my pants"

Really? This video is like a weird mix of Queer as Folk (don't tell me Andy doesn't seem like Brian Kinney) and Kanye West. I love Justin Timberlake's cameo as the janitor...and Meadow from "The Sopranos"? This shit is crazy.

GTG Classic: Open Letter to Larry Craig

Remember Senator Larry Craig's Minneapolis airport sex sting last summer? No? Well, his attempt to withdraw his guilty plea was denied today, so in honor of his ongoing battle against the mistinterpretation of his "wide stance," I'm reprinting last summer's "Open Letter to Larry Craig." Enjoy!

Dear Senator Craig,

Call me a sucker, but I just have a thing for men embroiled in sex scandals. R. Kelly, Senator Vitter, President Clinton...the depths of my sympathy for me who love to fuck are limitless. It's obvious that you were entrapped by that douchebag cop who was totally playing a Daddy game with you during that interrogation. I'll bet there are guys on Craigslist seeking just such a sexual encounter. I imagine it would their ads would something like this:*

I'm a regular gay guy and, what can I say? I have a fantasy of being entrapped
by a cop in an airport bathroom for "violating privacy."
Here's what I
want--a cop (or someone with access to pretty real-looking cop regalia) to meet
me in a bathroom and then bust me for trying to solicit sex. You'll demean me
during interrogation and belittle me for disappointing the people who vote for
me, and make sure to give a laundry list of the signals that gay men have used
for centuries to solicit sex without involving unsuspecting straight people in
the process.
Obviously, after you bust me we'll have to actually have
sex--that's part of the fantasy. But I won't tell your cop superiors if you
don't tell my constituents.
Email me soon! I keep my BlackBerry at close hand and travel through Minneapolis all the time. Let's make it happen!

I wish you hadn't resigned; not only is it perfectly fine to troll for guys in airport bathrooms, the Republican party needs to be taken to task for its patently bullshit condemnation of you and forgiveness of Vitter.

Whatever happens to you, I hope that you can keep having sex with guys in airports--surely it's hot--and that your wife will wipe off some of that eyeliner. She's no Tammy Faye.


Go-To Girl

*Yes, readers, I posted this ad on Craigslist.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Karma Chameleon.

If you look of pictures of me as a kid dressed up in sequined, crazy dance outfits (thanks, A) standing in the living room (yes, my life has been one big game of dress up) you will see the Culture Club album in the family record box (a fruit crate, we were so bohemian) behind me.

I vividly remember the video for "Karma Chameleon" (it's really weird) having to do with pretty people dressed up in antebellum-looking clothes (there are slaves, gentry, prostitutes, and a riverboat) and throwing lots of fake gold coins around.

So it's kind of ironic that Boy George was recently convicted of "falsely imprisoning" a male escort. With handcuffs.

Um, was this the escort's first time? Did he not know that Boy George is, um, pretty well documented as being a little freaky?

Obviously escorts should be able to consent to sex and any BDSM elements but handcuffs are just so banal! Anwyay...just a little fun for your weekend.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

The Ultimate Love Triangle
Herpes Ethics Question

In a love triangle? Ask Tila Tequila for help.

Dear Go-To Girl,
I'm sleeping with this girl who's an old friend of mine. We're keeping things casual. I have genital herpes; she knows. I take Valtrex and I haven't had an outbreak in ages. Here's the question: I know that the girl I'm seeing is also sleeping with another guy in our circle of friends. Am I obligated to tell him that I have herpes, since there's a possibility he might be at risk?

Dear Jerry,
You know how I feel about herpes.* So given that you 1) haven't had an outbreak in ages and 2) t his girl you're sleeping with knows you have herpes and 3) are taking Valtrex, I don't think you're obligated at all to tell dude # 2 that you have HSV. If anyone here is obligated to disclose, it's her.

Unless, of course, you're really hoping that he doesn't know how I feel about herpes* and will freak out and bail if you tell him, leaving you to have the girl all to yourself. In which case, I mean, all's fair in love and war. I guess.

But talking about herpes and the fact that you have it improves things for people who have herpes in general. Most people I know claim not to know anyone who has herpes when in fact some 75% of their friends are walking around with the HSV. So coming out of the closet really helps to destigmatize and de-other herpes infection. And, like I said, it's just not that big of a deal.

So consider carefully whether you want to scare this guy off, because you either will scare him or it will seem like you're trying to scare him, which will look like a huge cockblock. But ethically? Nah, don't tell him.


*In case you don't know how I feel about it, here's the lowdown: herpes is not a big deal. While genital herpes is the most stigmatized STI, it causes no problems other than physical discomfort and never progresses to anything more serious. Herpes isn't "curable" but anitviral meds (including Valtrex) are super effective at suppressing outbreaks and reducing transmission risk. So relax already. Read more about herpes here.

Monday, December 01, 2008

There is still no cure: World AIDS Day

In honor of World AIDS Day and because I told you so, go and get tested today. The only way to know your HIV/STI status is to get tested.

Chances are good your local health department or Planned Parenthood is doing free testing today; put on a red ribbon and go get a needle stick. It'll be good for you.

If you're in Austin, the Austin Travis County RBJ Clinic at 15 Waller Street will have free testing from 12-8. The map is below. Go on down.

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