Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Thou Shalt Not Fuck Vegetables: Lingering Fishbowl Questions, Part 2

Part 2 in a 4-part series of leftover questions from the FGC Fishbowl.

Q: What are some good cheap/grocery store dildos?

A: For the LOVE OF GOD, do NOT put any fruits or vegetables in your orifices. Seriously. There is a tremendous variety of noxious chemicals sprayed on all kinds of produce (especially cucumbers, a common veggie-cum-sex toy) that are absolutely not okay to introduce to your internal surfaces.

Other objects, like candles, flashlights, water bottles and the like can be okay if and only if they are absolutely clean--but be gentle using anything hard. Do not, under any circumstances, put anything in your ass that does not have either a string or a flared base. Any emergency room doctor will tell you horror stories about the things they've had to surgically remove from people's asses. I'm all for anal experimentation, but use your fingers, a penis, or a toy designed for that purpose.

Right: Anal beads, with a circular handle so they don't get lost.

If you really want a cheap, entry-level dildo, try a jelly toy. They suck, but they're cheap and if you really like using a dildo, you can trade up for something better and silicone. See this previous post on jelly vs. silicone toys.


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