For those of you who are too...ahem...young to remember Smoove B, the world's sexiest newspaper columnist, I have tremendous news: The Onion has not only brought him out of retirement but has actually created a whole page devoted to Smoove B and his smooveness, called "The Smoove Boudoir."
Please, ladies, I am on my knees begging you: go and read Smoove B. And then I will hit you doggy style all night long. And then feed you fine things, like chocolate covered raisins. And gentlemen, please read Smoove B and send your fine lady an electronic post card. Then you can hit her doggy style all night long. With chocolates and the finest champagne available at the corner store.
Love,
Mrs. Go-To Girl Smoove
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