Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Q: Is it time for straight people to adopt hanky code? A: Yes.

You might be saying, "What's hanky code?" I'm here to tell you. First, click on this link to go to an extremely comprehensive listing of different colored hankies one can wear to da club and what they mean to potential sex partners.

So go read the list and then try to translate the following scenario:

"Gettin' Freaky in the Club"

(Straight crowd is milling around the bar. Everyone has a hanky. WTF?)

(Jenny walks to the bar and catches the bartender's eye. He walks over and notices that she has a bright red bandanna tied around her neck.)

Bartender: "Hey there, Miss, what can I getcha?"

Jenny: "How about a Strawberry Cheesecake Lube Shot?"

Bartender: "Whaa?"

Jenny: "Exactly."

When you've figured out what code Jenny is wearing, write me and let me know. But seriously, wouldn't it make life easier if people generally adopted hanky code? It might take the guessing game out of hooking up if you knew in advance that the guy or gal you're taking home isn't into biting but is into hair-pulling before you're disappointed not to have marks? Put another way, hankies reveal a person's particular kinks (or lack thereof) and can save the time and heartache of being in a relationship with someone who is totally sexually lame.

And, for the record, my hanky collection includes red, navy blue, brown lace, and this cute fuschia one with owls on it. Oh, and I'm wearing a houndstooth dress.


Brooke said...

This is brilliant and terrifying...and hurts my brain. I would definitely screw up which pocket was which and I'd certainly have a panic attack trying to determine if a color was Fuschia versus Magenta or the difference between Kelly and Hunter Green - especially in the dim light of a club.

And anyway, doesn't that take all the fun out of playing around and experimenting with your partner to see what you both are into -- no one says you have to jump into a relationship!

par said...

it's all about the pursuit anyway, except when one is just looking for a one-nighter.