Thursday, November 13, 2008

Did Jesus Die for Anal?
The Father-Daughter Purity Ball is Back!



Puke, vomit, retch, blech, ugh, I hate it.

I've written about so-called "Father-Daughter Purity Balls" before, and this new website (thanks, S, for the tip) is just as gross. Here's the "pledge" the fathers take in front of God, their daughters, and eachother:
I, (DAUGHTER'S NAME)'S FATHER, CHOOSE BEFORE GOD TO COVER MY DAUGHTER AS HER AUTHORITY AND PROTECTION IN THE AREA OF PURITY. I WILL BE PURE IN MY OWN LIFE AS A MAN, HUSBAND AND FATHER. I WILL BE A MAN OF INTEGRITY AND ACCOUNTABLITY AS I LEAD, GUIDE AND PRAY OVER MY DAUGHTER AND MY FAMILY AS THE HIGH PRIEST IN MY HOME. THIS COVERING WILL BE USED BY GOD TO INFLUENCE GENERATIONS TO COME.
We all know how effective pledges are when it comes to things like abstinence (not at all), allegiance to the flag (totally meaningless), giving money to NPR (not 100%), and so on, so I have low expectations of fathers standing up in front of a group of other douchebags and promising that they won't cheat on their wives (!) or look at internet pornography (!!). Not to mention all the creepy, patriarchal, ownership language included in the pledge.

After the fathers take their "pledges" the daughters go up to the front of the room, where there's a cross (obviously, because Jesus hates premarital sex), "The daughters silently commit to live pure lives before God through the symbol of laying down a white rose at the cross."

The rose is white. Because they're all virgins. Get it?

Here's a nice reminder from one of the Father-Daughter Purity Ball Founder's seven (!) children, Khrystian:
Purity that sets us free starts with repentance to our Lord who died to forgive us. Can he forgive us for last night? Of course. His sacrifice covers us. Can He forgive us of last week? Yes, of course. He shed His blood for that.
So then it is okay to have premarital sex? Because Jesus shed His blood for that? I'm sorry, Purity People, but the Jesus I know and love is pretty tied up with actual human suffering to be bothered with your "purity."

But I do have one question--did Jesus die for anal?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What about the fucking?

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