Thursday, October 05, 2006

Hickeys are for hustlas

What's a gal to do if she winds up with one, two, or, say, nine hickeys on her neck? I've done some field research in this matter, and here are my conclusions based on available data:
1. Hickeys are not just for high school kids anymore. Few things are more effective at saying, 'Fuck all y'all, I got some last night' than a neckful of hickeys.
2. Covering them up, either by wearing a turtleneck or scarf, especially in non-winter weather, is totally lame. It says, 'I'm embarrassed that I got some last night,' which is not hot.
3. If you have, say, a job interview and really need to reduce the visibility of your partner's overzealousness, here's what you can do: put toothpaste on it. Really.
But hickeys are like the new 30; getting one says, 'I'm not embarrassed to be marked territory.' Or maybe just that you like to be bitten.

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