The Rules of Queer Dating, part 1

1: "Be a creature unlike any other." Could anything be more appropriate for queers? "Creature" necessarily allows room for genderfucking, so this book is great for y'all. So get your drag on, dress up as that Asian gal from The Holograms, or a greaser mechanic, whatever.
2: "Don't stare at [people] or talk too much." Unless you're going to walk up to someone and tell them you want to take them home, don't stare. It's just not polite.
3: "Don't meet [them] halfway or go dutch on a date." Call me old fashioned, but I'm a femme and I expect to be taken out. Non-heteronormative of gender-binary-abiding people can figure this one out on their own, but somebody should just pay. There's nothing more gauche than talking about money.
4: "Don't call [them] and rarely return [their] calls." Again, this is classic hard to get. I believe that a ratio of 2 calls to 1 is good. And calls beget more calls, and I hate being on the phone.
5: "Always end phone calls first." Do this. Seriously.
6: "No more than casual kissing on the first date." This is playing hard to get with yourself. Do you really deserve to get laid right away? Doubtful.
7: "Don't expect to change a [person] or try to change [them]." This is especially key for readers of the bio-girl persuasion. For some reason, XX's make people believe that someone's "potential" is who they actually are, or that if they just quit smoking or just started listening to your favorite band, that they'll be perfect. Not so.
8: "DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS." Seriously. Be mysterious. Unless there's a real reason to make "I feel..." statements, don't.
9: "Don't live with a [person] or leave your things at [their] apartment." There is one exception to this rule, and it involves coffee. No toothbrushes, no dildos, no scented candles.
10: "Don't buy collective sex toys." This is the same principle as living with someone: when you break up, you'll have the awkward situation of dividing custody of harnesses and dildos and, in the end, nobody ends up with a full set.
11: "Don't date a married [person]." Or date someone who's in an "open," "nonmonogamous," or "polyamorous" relationship. Those relationships are primary relationships with someone who is not you.
12: "Don't sleep together every day." Hello, U-Haul? Take a day off every now and then. Like two or three times a week at least.
13: "First dates (or hookups) should not last more than 48 hours." Party plus sleeping in plus brunch plus back to bed for round two plus sleeping over again equals just about 36 hours. Keep it at that.