Friday, August 17, 2007

R. Kelly's Done It Again

By way of the Washington Post:

Remember "Trapped in the Closet"?

R. Kelly has come out with ten new chapters to his totally bizarre, fucking awesome video musical opus.

"Closet" follows Kels' hyper-literal lyrical style, except that in this new set of chapters there are aliens. From space. Perhaps he met them when he was taking his girl to "Sex Planet"?

Asked about his inspiration for penning the ten new chapters, Kels replied: "I don't know how to explain how I wrote it." But he assures fans that he will continue adding installments until "the aliens decide to leave."

Kels, I've got a few ideas about where your inspiration came from:

"Even after that I was taking shots, shot after shot, shot after shot..." ("Leave Your Name")

"This weed and Patron got me hazy..." ("Rock Star")

"Steppin' out the club with a dizzy head..." (Double Up")

"Smokin' some trees..." ("Leave Your Name")

"Got Patron in the club, feelin' good...hey hey, I'm feelin' good, I'm so high..." ("Get Dirty")

"On the hood of that old school, I'll be smokin' trees on it..." ("Rollin")

Perhaps we all misunderstood R. Kelly's motivation for going to the club and drinking himself into oblivion: he's not trying to get laid, he's looking for a source of inspiration. I mean, it worked for Morrison, Joplin, and Elvis: why not Kels? Let's just hope he doesn't die before his trial this September.

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