Monday, September 01, 2008
Bristol Palin and her son--oops, I mean brother--Trig. Is that short for "trigonometry"? As in, the class she skipped to go and get fucking pregnant?
Okay, seriously. I wasn't going to write since it's LABOR DAY and all, but thanks to L, S, S, S, and Mom for disrupting my day at Barton Springs Pool with the latest proof that abstinence education is a fucking joke: Sarah Palin, who has been the Republican vice-presidential nominee for approximately 5 minutes, has a daughter in the family way.
Knocked up. A bun in the oven. Expecting. With child. Sperminated (thanks, S, for that one). Preggers. Too dumb to use a motherfucking condom.
The best part? Palin, apparently, advocates abstinence education. Which is great and all, except when your teenage fucking daughter starts to fuck and she never learned about condoms and goes and gets herself fucking pregnant.
Am I the only one taking crazy pills here? I haven't even had to write about how ridiculous the Republican nominee is in the first place and then, Surprise! She's got a pregnant daughter.
Look, I'm happy the Republicans decided (nearly 3 decades after the Democrats) to nominate a woman to graciously lose on the national stage. But this candidate just had a baby with Down's Syndrome, her daughter is knocked up, her stepmother in law (or whatever) ran against her and is her enemy back in Alaska--really, Republicans? I didn't realize the Jerry Springer demographic was so up for grabs this election season.
I hope this puts abstinence education in the election discourse. I can't fucking wait for it. If we needed further proof that sex is, in fact, better than abstinence, this is clearly the pudding. As it were.
I hope somebody has told Bristol that there is no condom for the heart.