Monday, September 01, 2008

Sex 1, Abstinence 0:
Sarah Palin's Daughter Knocked Up


Bristol Palin and her son--oops, I mean brother--Trig. Is that short for "trigonometry"? As in, the class she skipped to go and get fucking pregnant?

Okay, seriously. I wasn't going to write since it's LABOR DAY and all, but thanks to L, S, S, S, and Mom for disrupting my day at Barton Springs Pool with the latest proof that abstinence education is a fucking joke: Sarah Palin, who has been the Republican vice-presidential nominee for approximately 5 minutes, has a daughter in the family way.

Knocked up. A bun in the oven. Expecting. With child. Sperminated (thanks, S, for that one). Preggers. Too dumb to use a motherfucking condom.



The best part? Palin, apparently, advocates abstinence education. Which is great and all, except when your
teenage fucking daughter starts to fuck and she never learned about condoms and goes and gets herself fucking pregnant.

Am I the only one taking crazy pills here? I haven't even had to write about how ridiculous the Republican nominee is in the first place and then, Surprise! She's got a pregnant daughter.

Look, I'm happy the Republicans decided (nearly 3 decades after the Democrats) to nominate a woman to
graciously lose on the national stage. But this candidate just had a baby with Down's Syndrome, her daughter is knocked up, her stepmother in law (or whatever) ran against her and is her enemy back in Alaska--really, Republicans? I didn't realize the Jerry Springer demographic was so up for grabs this election season.

I hope this puts abstinence education in the election discourse. I can't fucking wait for it. If we needed further proof that sex is, in fact, better than abstinence, this is clearly the pudding. As it were.

I hope somebody has told Bristol that there is no condom for the heart.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

love it! jerry springer IS a really popular show, you know

ugly leotards said...

It also blows my mind that she is getting pro-life points because her daughter isn't getting an abortion, and because she has a special needs child.

Anonymous said...

i mean, I too am really 'proud' of Governor Palin's 17 year old daughter for having a baby. I just don't want her condoning MY teenage daughter getting pregnant and having a baby.

GaryLawrence said...

If the Republican party was a horror movie character possessed by demons, right now they would be thrashing about in their death throes as all the horrible demons came howling out of them and the flesh melted from the character's bones.