Those of you that were lucky enough to have been at the FGC-AYF-YF Fishbowl this summer already know about 10-10-50, but those of you who don't, allow me to elucidate. I'm a student, and I think in rules and theories. So, I have some theories. Ten-Ten-Fifty is a theory of how a sexual encounter should happen between two hypothetical people. Here's how it goes:
10: the number of minutes, from entry to exit, that sex* should take. Unless there's something remarkable going on (as in, alcohol-fueled anorgasmia, attempts at tantra, etc.) this is actually a pretty generous amount of time. Studies show that on average, men can go for about 5 minutes before coming. And I have heard from certain guys (who will remain nameless, but whose initials are S.D.), claims that "10 minutes isn't long enough" and whatever. Friends, guys, ladies, take a look at the bedside clock before you start doing it. I guarantee you that 10 minutes is plenty of time. And anything beyond 20 minutes is absolutely out of the question. We are all busy people.
10: the number of minutes a blowjob recipient can expect to get. There are exceptions to this rule, too, and they are as follows: if someone really likes giving blowjobs, they'll probably give you more than 10. Or if the blowjob is taking the place of sex then 10 minutes might be insufficient. But as far as blowjob-as-foreplay is concerned, anything longer than 10 minutes could cause serious neck strain and, c'mon, this isn't porno. *Ethical note: under the blowjob-as-substitute circumstance, it is unethical to stop giving the blowjob before orgasm and it is also unethical, guys, for the blowjob to continue longer than 30 minutes (at the risk of causing serious neck injury) if you know you are unable to come. This is particularly true if you are drunk. So keep it to 10 minutes. That bedside clock can again come in handy.
50: the maximum percentage of tongue that should be inserted into someone's mouth when kissing. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Go forth and fuck appropriately.
*this means penis to orifice; the rules of gay/lesbian/queer sex will be addressed in a different installment.