As promised, here is the first installment of my soon-to-be wildly popular Back-to-School Special.
Dear Go-To Girl,
Ok, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have a question about the Larry Craig scandal. Dan Savage, as well as other people, when dissecting this phenomenon of secret man-on-man bathroom hook-ups, have said that most men who engage in such behavior are "straight-identified." This makes sense to me. What I'm wondering is, are these "straight-identified" men really gay, and hiding it because they're conservative senators or whatever? Or are there lots of seriously straight men who crave the thrill of this kind of interaction too? Is bathroom sex an outlet for gay desires, or separate kink to itself?
I'm with Dan on this one. While Senator Craig might "really" be gay (just like R. Kelly might "really" prefer peeing on people) and deals with it by having secret sex with men while maintaining his hetero marriage and his anti-gay stance in Congress, it's definitely true that there are men (and women) who really are straight and like to have same-sex sex sometimes.
In Craig's case it's impossible to tell if he's "really" gay. But who cares? There are just as many straight-identified guys who like to fuck other guys as there are gay-identified guys who prefer to fuck straight guys (Google image search "straight guys" if you don't believe me).
In my mind, sexual orientation is about what gender of person you want to be in love with, not what gender you like to fuck. For most straight people, they are one in the same, but not for everyone. Some gay men have sex with women because they like the poontang--but they want to have relationships with men. Maybe Senator Craig really wishes he could set up house with one of these bathroom guys, but it's just as real a possibility that having sex in bathrooms is, for him, a kink that he sometimes indulges while maintaining that he is actually, certifiably, really straight.
Guys Gone WILD!!!