Monday, March 17, 2008
Q: Am I lady-jaculating? A: Yes. Or peeing.
Dear Go-To Girl,
I have an embarrassing question, embarrassing because it reveals that I do not fully understand my own body and how it works. But here goes: I have two different kinds of orgasms, one resulting from clitoral stimulation and one from internal stimulation. This situation is awesome. However, once, four years ago, while working on the latter kind with a vibrator, when I climaxed there was a lot of liquid that sort of squirted out. I assumed that I had urinated because that's kind of what it felt like. Anyway, I didn't think about for a long time until I got a new vibrator and it happened again the other day. I told my boyfriend about it, and he insists that it can't be urine, because you can't urinate when you're aroused. I know that's true for men, but I'm not so sure for women. He also argues that I'd be able to recognize urine immediately by the smell, but I'm pretty well-hydrated and don't think my urine smells very distinctive. He thinks it's some kind of female ejaculation, but it seems like way too much liquid for that. Not to mention, I've been in living in this body for a while, and it feels like I'm urinating. He claims this is impossible.
Anyway, what's going on here? Am I peeing myself when I come? Does this happen to other women? On a scale of 1 to 10, how completely embarrassing is this?
The good news is that you and your boyfriend are both wrong. Women can definitely pee when they're aroused; only men have that whole "one tube" problem. So, in theory, it's totally possible for a gal to pee during orgasm.
What's more likely happening is that you have, on these two occasions, had what's called "female ejaculation." I prefer the term "squirt" since ejaculation, obviously, is a male process. Nobody's quite sure why it happens, but some women, when cumming, squirt out a lot of liquid that they insist is not urine.
Scientific priorities being what they are, I don't think anybody knows for sure that this liquid isn't urine and I don't know of any convincing research that has suggested what mysterious, non-urine substance is coming out of the urethras of these lucky ladies.
In terms of how much you're squirting, I invite you to Google "female ejaculation" for comparison. You'll get approximately 10,000,000 results.
I don't think it's embarrassing at all; I mean, it's never happened to me and I'm kind of a stickler for clean sheets but as long as you have enough quarters for laundry, it's no big deal. I think it's also one of those things that guys get all puffed up about, so let your boyfriend feel like he's R. Kelly for a minute. No harm done.
PS--Please write and tell us what vibrator you got!