Monday, May 05, 2008

The Lifestyle Near You (and in Austin)

Swinging, people. Not just for swingers anymore.

A few months ago I read Skipping Towards Gomorrah, by my good (pretend) pal Dan Savage, and as part of his research into the kinks and sins of American guys and gals, he spends a few days with a swinger couple in Illinois. They're religious, Conservative Jews, they've got kids, and they swing. They're sickeningly in love but love to fuck other people.

Then a friend (hey there T--I hope you're reading) asked me to accompany him to Entre Nous, DC's only swing club, not as a fuck-date but as a beard since they don't let single guys in. That was an awkward conversation, let me tell you. But due to scheduling conflicts we never even made it to the club.

I've long had a hypothesis (probably started by that one episode of "Real Sex" that showed swinger summer camp [S, I know you remember this]) that swingers are actually really conservative because, hey, I'm super liberal and talk about sex with my super liberal friends all day, every day, and I've never even heard of anyone who's heard of anyone who's really a swinger. And since I haven't accepted any new Republican friends since November 2004, the math just adds up. But I'm speculating. Sorry, democrat swingers out there.

The thing about swinging is that, by all appearances, it's the anti-porn: people who are older, not porn-star hot, chubby, wrinkled, disabled, or whatever are all celebrated as equally sexual. There aren't many (read: any) venues in our culture that allow for and encourage sexual expression by people who don't fit into the norm of what's hot, and I think that's fantastic. It's nice to know that there's a model out there for sexuality after a certain age/size/beauty fade that isn't just about turning yourself completely off.

So to make up for never getting to Entre Nous with my pal T, I'm going to go to Allure, Austin's "Newest and Most Upscale Club." Single gals are welcome, but I think I'll try to recruit a male not-to-fuck-date to go along for protection. Surely I can rustle up a faux wedding ring somewhere.

I'll report back.

PS--find a club in your area, you dirty minded lifestylers. (K and P, I'm looking at you!)


Anonymous said...

GTG, I'm a fan, but you always seem to have this "I think it's weird and don't really support it but whatever floats your boat" attitude towards swinging (and nudism, too!), while you claim to be an open-minded sexpert.

My wife and I are about 30, moderately attractive (height/weight proportional, don't look like we got hit in the fact with shovels, no obvious deformities), and we're both nudists and swingers. And while I don't think you mean it this way, your posts on both subjects come across as a little closed-minded.

Look, we think you, and vanilla crowd are the weird ones! We're comfortable enough in our skins that we don't mind walking around naked. And we're not so stuck-up that, gasp the thought of seeing someone naked who, while being a wonderful person, does not look like a Ken or Barbie doll (plus genitals) makes us ill or uncomfortable. We're also open enough to realize that sex feels good, variety is the spice of life, and that anyone who says (after 7 years of marriage) that they have absolutely no interest in anyone of the opposite sex is a liar.

Last figures I saw said there are 2 million swingers in America. Out of 300 million people. So let's be conservative and say 1% of Americans are swingers.

Now, 70% of married people cheat on their spouses. But the 1% of us, who are actually open, honest, secure in love and have grown beyond our jealousy...we're the weird ones, and we're the deviants?

Crazy world, GTG...crazy world...


Go-To Girl said...

M & K-
I'm terribly sorry for coming off as closed minded; that's obviously not my intent.
And please don't call me vanilla! If nothing else, I'm at the vanilla end of the kink scale; or the kink end of the vanilla scale.

Anonymous said...

I'm looking forward to reading the follow-up post, obviously. And I really will go see Entre Nous before the end of my time in D.C. (which may be fast approaching). You'll be the first to hear about the adventure.