Q: Broken penis A: Probably not

Dear Go To Girl,
Can you break a dick by landing on it funny?
-Just Curious

Hey there C,

By "landing on it funny" do you mean, say, a stripper giving a lapdance who totters in her 6" heels and falls into a guy's lap? Or "landing on it funny" during sex? While yes, it is possible to break a penis by "landing on it funny" I think if the guy in question had in fact broken his penis he would've immediately been like, "HOLY FUCK!" From what I understand, it's just about the most painful thing the cock-havers can imagine.

So a broken penis situation looks like this:

1. Guy has hard-on
2. Girl/Guy partner proceeds to have sex from such an angle that the penis in question bends
3. Penis goes "pop!"
4. Ouch! Internal bleeding, tremendous pain, a bend in the cock that won't go away

To treat a broken penis, go to the emergency room, stat. We don't have universal health care in this country, but we've got armies of urologists who can protect the all-important penis. And you probably won't even have to pay a co-pay.

Love,
GTG