Dear Go-To Girl,
I've heard that old excuse from guys a million times about how it "hurts so much" if you don't "give them a little hand-job" and after you've "teased them all night" can't you just "keep me from getting blue balls"? But lo and behold, after hooking up with this guy last night and teasing (eachother) for hours, I had the most awful dull pain in my pelvis after he went home.
Is this girl blue balls? Is that possible?
Love,
Jennifer
Dear Jenn,
I know what you mean. I know a gal that, if she doesn't come, is overwhelmed with a feeling of, "If you don't get out of my room RIGHT NOW I am going to punch you in the face [with my vibrator]." But she's one of the 25% of women who actually regularly has an orgasm from sex so she knows what it feels like when she doesn't have one.
The short answer to your question is that yes, women can experience "blue balls." Some giant percentage of women don't have orgasms from vaginal sex anyway (and I'm sorry for that, ladies, really) so I think they probably don't identify any bad feelings after sex as related to not having an orgasm.
The pelvic area (and your vaginal and clitoral erectile tissue, specifically) fills up with blood when you're aroused, and having an orgasm releases that blood back into your body. If you don't come, it stays around and kind of slowly leaks out, which is what that achy feeling is.
As any guy will tell you, once the blue balls has set in, having an orgasm won't make it go away. So you've just gotta live with it.
And next time, play with your damn clit during sex. That's what it's there for.
Love,
GTG
PS-Get the fuck out of my room!
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